I realized something and I'm really happy about it.
I dont want Chantelle back. at all.
I realized that she has a shit load of stuff to figure out about herself still, just reading things she writes in her blog. and I'm somewhat past that part of my life. not completely but I think I'm a lot more sure of myself and who I am and what I want than she is. There's nothing wrong with that. but I dunno, I see now that even though I loved her, we were friends that fucked. not lovers. I had a better time with her when we were playing around and teasing each other than when we acted as girlfriends. I kiss my friends, so she was basically just a really good friend.